As a rule, excessive shy child does not give them any trouble, but the kid is doomed to loneliness and inexplicable fears. Often parents about their chadah hear exactly these words: “demure”, “timid”, “unsociable”, “fear of others”, “frightened some.”
Unfortunately, as a rule, parents do not give adequate priority to excessive shyness of her child, on the contrary, it seems that there is nothing wrong with the baby is quiet and obedient. But psychologists say that too obedient kid – it is psychologically “broken” child.
Suffering from shy child afraid to attract too much attention. He was constantly worried that it may be difficult to think about, so from it can seem a model of excellent behavior.
However, pathological shyness prevents your child start dating, to take the initiative, make friends and acquire the necessary social skills. As a result, the child can grow up a man with low self-esteem, which negatively displayed on his further study, work and personal life.
Shy kid needs help, and the sooner – the better. Otherwise, looking back on those years, he will always regret missed opportunities.
What is the reason
Experts believe that some children are predisposed to shyness initially, others develop it, they find themselves under the influence of certain circumstances.
The reason for the initial shyness can be a biological predisposition. That is, some children hypersensitive by nature. The rest of the kids are too shy, when are under the influence of regular stress.
It can also happen that the closure of shyness and confidence develops as a consequence of a traumatic event, which is usually associated with public humiliation baby. The impetus for the development of shyness can also be serious problems in the family, the transition to a new school, the loss of a friend or moving to a new place of residence.
In addition, often the cause of the child’s shyness is negative family communication. If parents or other close people often swear, constructive criticize the child (especially in front of others), trying to fully control his life – it can significantly reduce self-esteem baby, which will ultimately lead to its isolation and shyness.
Another major cause of the “quiet” behavior of the child is baiting at school or in the garden. If your baby often traumatized peers or teachers, protective reaction of the psyche – isolation in itself.
How to help the Shy Child
1) In a confidential conversation you tell your child about your own shyness that you experienced as a child. Tell him (in a positive way), how did you deal with it, in what the situation is.
2) Try to understand the child and show sympathy for his problems. This will allow your child to feel your acceptance of the situation, as well as help to start an open dialogue.
3) Talk to your child about the benefits of communication. The kid will be easier to cope with excessive shyness, if he understands what it is he needs to overcome it.
4) In no case do not hang it on the labels. Communicate with your child, but do not, under any circumstances, do not call him “meek” or “shy”. Also, do not allow other people to behave with your child in this way.
5) Play the situations in which your child is afraid to appear. Role playing – the perfect way to help your child overcome shyness.
6) Place the concrete in front of him, but achievable goals, such for example, ask the teacher (educator) asked to speak to the children with the report, join the game with their peers.
7) Encourage your toddler for sociability. Do not be ashamed of his shy behavior or expression of timidity.
If none of the above does not help, and shyness toddler becomes pathological forms – consult a good psychologist!