Here a man behaves, according to a girl or woman, not right. That is rude, then something else does. Here is not to appreciate and is not respected by a woman.
And so the woman wants to put the man in place. He wants to make him appreciate and respect himself. And this is certainly a good thing. You can say good and necessary.
And so the girl begins to build a man, but she doesn’t succeed. The man leaves, (and sometimes the girl starts to run after him in one form or another), is rude in response, stops talking for a week or two.
And well, if the man was so-so. He does not like your requirements and okay. Let him go his own way. But no. A man is good, does a lot or did at least. Smart, handsome, earns well, there were plans on his part about marriage, etc. Or you’re already married and you don’t want a divorce at all, and just so scared him with a divorce a couple of times (well, or not a couple of times, but since 20-30), and he took it and agreed.
What to do? How to put a man in place? How to make a man appreciate you and respect you? Where does a girl or woman face failure?
The reason that it is impossible to “build” a man is an inverted relationship. (And why upside down, a little later)
A classic relationship with a man is when he runs after a woman. (Let’s just say, runs more than a woman follows him. Much more). He needs a woman. He is trying to get to know each other. He needs sex. He needs her attention.
In such circumstances, putting a man in his place, making him appreciate and respect a woman, is relatively easy. Subject to, of course, measures. That is, if you can “build” it with one smile, then you do not need, of course, to arrange a tantrum.
If you can put in place a light ignore, then you do not need to throw plates, etc. About how to make a man run after you, I wrote for a long time and in great detail in my first article, “How to Keep a Strong Relationship With Man”
And let’s say you did everything right. At the initial stage, a lot is laid. Then the relationship becomes as if stiff (not quite, but it becomes not so malleable for change). And if no serious mistakes are already made, then they smoothly flow into the family.
And there, in the family, a woman can also sometimes build a man. In the family, you need to do this much more carefully than at the beginning of the relationship. Since outwardly a man can concede (joint children, etc.), but psychologically move away. Love can leave the relationship and maybe the woman herself will already become the initiator of the breakup.
But let’s say that a girl somewhere made mistakes in a relationship with a man at the very beginning. And then not everything is so great. That is, the relationship is not very classic.
Suppose, it’s not a man who runs after a woman, but a relationship more or less equal. (This is not great again, especially at the initial stage).
And then, so that a man appreciates and respects, periodically put in place can and should, of course. But you need to do this very carefully and preferably skillfully. They slightly went too far, and the man either left, or he begins to “build” you. And you can’t not build on the other hand, since the man is still periodically impudent.
If you do not feel the strength in yourself, sufficient self-esteem and qualifications, then if possible you should strive for the first type of relationship.
And, for example, the relationship is upside down. More girl runs after a man than he follows her. Rather, he agrees to meetings at her initiative. If a girl does not call, for example, then he does not particularly call. And if a girl in this type of relationship fell in love, then building is no longer possible.
Any attempt to build a man will only lead to a worsening of the situation. After all, he doesn’t really need a girl.
For example, she was offended and did not call, and the man forgot about her the next day or even sighed with relief. But the girl cannot forget and suffers.
I repeat that in such relationships, downloading rights is useless and harmful. You need to work with yourself, with relationships so that you gradually remove the bias or gradually, again, switch to other affairs and another man. I will not speak in detail about how to act in an inverted relationship. But remember the main thing. It is impossible to put a man in his place in such a relationship. Only make yourself worse.
So, the first thing that prevents “building” a man is an inverted type of relationship. Try not to fall into this type of relationship. Fortunately, the role of a woman makes it usually easy to do this.
If you already hit, then do not even try to demand something from the man. They will send softly or rudely and forget. The girl will suffer. Get out of them gradually. It is possible.
Now I will explain why inverted relationships appear.
The first reason is a constant excess initiative.
Reasons for inverted relationships are different reasons. But one of the most common is excessive initiative. Excessive initiative is an unnecessary and harmful initiative. If, for example, a man wrote 5 messages, then answering him is normal and even necessary. But if a man, for example, writes that he wants to pause the relationship, then writing him a declaration of love is a very strong excess initiative. Read about this article “5 Signs Of True Love From A Man”
This is a very, very bad habit in communicating with a man. It causes irritation in men, withdrawal of love, sometimes even aversion, etc. That is, excessive initiative is not something like a small mistake that you can forgive yourself. This is what ruins the love of a man for half an hour of communication.
This habit is very, very often not recognized by a woman or, at least, harm is not understood. It even happens that reading an article about some part of this habit does not help. (Otherwise the woman would not have acted like that)
The second reason is that the woman is substituted in communication.
Substituting in communication with a man is not worth it, especially rudely. And if a man is very in love, then he can even miss the fact that the girl “framed”. But the influence of women from such actions is reduced and reduced. And at some point, the relationship may turn upside down. That is, a man will fall out of love with a woman in other words, but a woman may not and suffer greatly.
An example is still off topic .
Let’s say you have a neighbor who you don’t like. She was the first because of some of your quarrels, she took and poured paint on your door, say. Then swore at you. Then … And in response to this, you hit her once. Not much hit, after which she became even stronger and healthier.
And now, let’s say the conflict went beyond the usual quarrel and called the police. Maybe even you called, because the neighbor first made a bunch of villains in your address.
And here you are framed. What the neighbor has done against you is not interesting for the police. But the fact that you hit her a little is a real criminal article.
Now you can be imprisoned for these actions, but she is not, although the neighbor began everything. That is, you framed yourself. You acted disproportionately toughly and now you can lose very, very much. At least a lot of money if you’re lucky. You may have to humiliate yourself in front of a neighbor so that she does not file an application with the police, etc.
The same thing with a man.
Suppose a man did something wrong. Somewhere he was shameful or did not call, forgot about something important for you, etc.
In response to his insignificant violation, you began to peck at it and peck at some relatively fair claims. For example, “Yes, you do not care what I think and feel. You could not even do this. You only think about yourself … “
And very often a girl can substitute. That is, to act disproportionately to the violation. I would say that girls very often go too far in quarrels. And to some extent this is possible in ordinary relationships.
But in approximately equal terms, this is already unacceptable. In an inverted relationship, that is, where a woman is more interested in a man than he is in her, this is an absolutely unacceptable thing.
That is, it is extremely undesirable or impossible to substitute, depending on the situation. If you regularly and strongly substitute, then soon you can lose influence even when at the beginning of the relationship all the trump cards were in your hands.
Recently, i wrote in detail about this article in detail, “How to Understand Men”
Here I will not repeat, so as not to duplicate the same thing several times.
The third. And another of the strong reasons is that the girl incorrectly assesses the situation with the man.
A very, very common cause of the suffering of a woman in a relationship with a man.
How it works?
If we take the initial stage of the relationship, then usually it is. A man runs and runs after a woman. Runs differently.
Maybe he writes all the time.
Maybe on dates invites.
Maybe he does a lot.
Maybe constantly the first is put up.
And the girl thinks that she doesn’t really need him. And this man will run after her endlessly.
Sometimes it is. Even if a man leaves, the woman sighs with relief and lives on calmly, looking for another man, etc.
But this does not always happen. If a man is tired of running irresponsibly, he leaves. And then the girl is covered by a wave of depression. She is trying to somehow return the man back. Moreover, already often the excess initiative is very strong and there are some pleas, etc., which is already too much.
What can be said in this case?
I repeat the axiom that is set out in the first paragraph. If the relationship is approximately equal, then you can’t put a man roughly and bluntly in place. If a man means a lot to a woman, then this is strictly prohibited.
And now the girl thinks that she doesn’t really need a man and behaves accordingly. Sometimes he sends roughly, sometimes he reports about and without, pushes his decisions when a man is against, etc.
But this is only the illusion of a woman that you can do this. This is an illusion that she doesn’t really need a man and she will easily find another.
And sooner or later the illusion is destroyed, sometimes in the most unexpected way, and then a severe depression sets in.
What can I say?
I do not want you girls to suffer because of men. And the biggest suffering, depression, etc. These are caused by such departure in illusion and then by errors associated with it.
Never go away in illusion. Do not do so.
Only in this way can you maintain power in a relationship with a man and not make blunders. If you understand that if a man leaves, you will suffer greatly, you will never behave with him as if he was not needed and let him go wherever he looks, if he wants to.
The departure in illusion, of course, is not realized, otherwise it would not have been a departure in illusion.
But here is an approximate list of signs (very approximate and which must be interpreted along with others), which allows you to think that it is possible that you have illusions.
– He does a lot for a girl. This is not a 100% sign, but strong enough. If a man does a lot of housework, incurs significant expenses with the girl, listens to her, etc., but sometimes the girl seems to need her. It so happens that such he is not needed, but not so often.
It happens that a girl thinks that a man does little. In reality, this is not entirely true. Look carefully at the actions of men. If the truth does little, then you are unlikely to have illusions.
– Girlfriends, acquaintances, etc., who usually support a woman and are always on her side, when mentioning that she will easily find another man better, that she does not need this, that she sent him correctly, etc. , do not support much, but just listen in silence or even slightly object. (If even friends are not enthusiastic, who usually support even erroneous actions, then, most likely, it is no longer healthy and it is possible that an adequate perception of relations with a man has been distorted). Exceptions are long divorced or lonely friends who will say and support anything to break up a marriage or make a girl lonely.
– The relationship is quite long, despite the fact that the man is not needed. Maybe even marriage and children. Also not a 100% sign.
I have listed some signs that a girl can live in illusions. And if these are really illusions, then sooner or later they will begin to fall apart. Sometimes it takes a couple of years or more.
So, the last reason for inverted relations is the illusion that a man does not need a woman, and a man needs her very much.
Girls – do not live in illusions and will not suffer much.
That is, for example, you understand that a man means a lot to you, or even a lot more than you do to him. Then it is obvious that you need to adhere to the strategy not when you periodically set ultimatums for a man, leave him or somehow defend your rights in a harsh manner.
Do not do so in this type of relationship. Even in more or less equal relations, this cannot be done, and even more so in inverted relations. And it doesn’t matter, the girl understands what kind of relationship is in reality or not. They will still develop according to certain laws.
For example, he may suddenly leave, and a girl, instead of being happy, may suffer greatly.
Let’s summarize a little.
Men, they are such that periodically impudent in one form or another. So that they do not become impudent, that they value you and respect you, you need to put them in place.
But you can put it in place only if a number of conditions are met. With the classical development of relations, they are respected. And you can put in place in compliance with the measure. But relations do not always develop according to the standard scheme. Sometimes they are upside down. And if this is so, then it is necessary to put a man in place either very carefully or not at all, but you can only work on relationships in order to gradually change the pattern of relationships or find another man.
Act correctly. And then you will not suffer, and you can exert maximum influence on a man as much as possible.