Why do some girls come across almost always good and decent men, and some always have such that it is unpleasant to even meet?
Why do some girls have the feeling that normal men are gone, like mammoths? What good man “you will not meet in the afternoon with fire”?
The reasons for this, of course, as usual is several.
The first reason (rare). It may be true that a girl surrounded by no decent men.
Maybe the girl lives in some small village, village, where there are very few free men. And those who are not suitable for one reason or another.
This happens not so often, but it happens.
The output is obvious. You need to go to a larger city, a district center, or do something else to get to know good men. For example, contact a serious marriage agency that works with foreigners. But for this you need to know well at least English.
The second reason. Negative beliefs.
It seems to have talked about negative beliefs many times. However, that is, that is. If once parents or accidentally as a result of the impact of the stories of friends and acquaintances, the conviction was formed that: “There are no decent men around”, then gradually it will be so.
The girl is already beginning to look for examples that there are no decent and good men. She begins to look for flaws in the men she meets. She gradually begins to pick up mostly those girlfriends who support the talk that “Real men have now passed away.” She begins to like those programs, films, etc., where the topic is raised that there are no good and decent men anywhere.
If this is so, then examples of when men are normal, behave normally, are forgotten, are simply not noticed. And those examples, when men behave incorrectly, constantly revolve in the head, a number of images are recalled and formed.
After some time, the conviction is formed (maybe even in childhood) and any information, any man has scrolled through this conviction. Information conforming to the conviction that there are no decent men around is “consumed” with pleasure. The reverse information begins to cause rejection.
And with a similar conviction, will a girl find worthy men?
Any man who even approaches such a woman will be rated as unworthy. The expression of the face, the words, the position of the body, everything will tell the man that he does not like this woman. Even more, that a man causes her disgust, fear, aggression, etc. emotions.
It is clear that no decent man wants to communicate with such a woman, even if she is beautiful and intelligent. And even if for some reason the communication will be started (a colleague, a dating site), then decent men run away very quickly. As in communication, the belief that there are no decent men will be seen almost in every sentence. How many times have I met such situations at my training. And while the client did not work through this conviction, she didn’t notice those quite normal and decent men who were in her environment and who liked her.
Of course, until this conviction is worked through, effective ways of getting to know each other, communicating with decent men are simply ignored. Something is selected that does not work at all and it has been using this unfortunate method for many years. (or does nothing at all) After all, the conviction must be confirmed. It always happens.
And the belief is always confirmed, despite any conscious effort.
Of course, you need to adjust beliefs and a little bit of reality will begin to change.
The third reason. A woman does not know how to communicate with men.
Extremely frequent problem. And this problem can be divided into several components and work with them in different ways.
Lack of self-confidence . I repeat that men like confident women.
Confidence can be developed (increased by several points) in about 3-6 months, so that this reason will cease to be a bottleneck for communication and acquaintance with men.
With infantile girls (like men) is difficult to communicate. They are generally not interested in other people. Only that directly or indirectly applies to them. It is clear that sooner or later a man gets tired of such communication, even if the girl has many other qualities that are valuable to him. That is, a girl can be beautiful, smart, dress well, she can have an apartment (which is good for starting family life), etc.
Excessive infantilism is also being worked out. One of the main things in such a change is to understand that infantilism is something that does not adorn a woman at all (at first she may even like her, but not for long).
Permanent and background “brain removal” man.
I repeat here, but there are not many repetitions in such an important topic.
It is clear that with such communication it will be difficult to find men and then retain, despite the good appearance and other qualities of character.
The usual dialogue in these girls:
G. Why didn’t you do this, because you promised me?
M. As I understand it, you refused my help. I’m sorry if something’s wrong.
J. You check your memory if you cannot remember and understand elementary things. I told you to call me back, and I will tell if your help is needed or not.
J. You set me up. I hoped…
This is a rather rude dialogue on the part of a woman. There are also softer brain drifts. But, nevertheless, one way or another, always or periodically if a girl speaks about in this spirit, it is clear that it will be difficult or very difficult to find a good man.
The removal of the brain in short lies in the fact that the woman is constantly dissatisfied with something and constantly demands something from the man. Maybe attention, maybe some services, gifts, etc.
I’m not saying that you need to be silent, but if such communication is daily, then everything will be bad with men immediately or a little later.
The usual lack of communication skills.
Here you just need to understand that the skill of the fact that a woman communicates a lot with men, develops very poorly, if at all develops.
It is necessary to work out the individual components specifically. And only then the skill will improve.
And so it is possible for 20 years every day to cook and cook badly. You can have sex for 20 years and do it badly. Can …
In general, even if a girl communicates with men every day, this does not mean that communication skills are good. Better, of course, than a girl who has never seen a man in the eye or talks very rarely.
So, you need to develop individual skills. Train them specifically. With men, in imagination, in an empty room, etc.
What kind of skills can it be?
Ability to understand the psychology of men.
The ability to cook as well.
The ability to tell something interesting for men. (and this is certainly not the same as for women). The ability to talk about fashion, cooking some food, women’s clothing stores, girlfriends, children, etc. may be completely irrelevant when dealing with a man.
The fourth reason. You are too straightforwardly looking for a good man for marriage.
This, of course, is more a matter of thinking. If you clearly set the brain installation that you need a husband in the near future, it may not work.
It forces you to evaluate each man in terms of its compliance with your requirements. That is, if he can become a normal husband in the near future. It affects everything.
You will ask questions that allow you to evaluate a man only in this direction. (Married, income, having an apartment, etc.) And none of the men wants to marry and does not like being evaluated. He wants love, relationships, and then there can be marriage, children.
You will be stupid ads on dating sites, where you will write that you need a serious relationship and a lot of requirements.
Communication with such a woman will also be deprived of laughter, energy. After all, her communication is subordinate to the goal.
In general, you can get married, even making mistakes. But the less you make them, the easier it is to marry and the easier it is to find a decent man.
Just chat, enjoy chat. Communicate with any men who are pleasant and even with those who are clearly not going to marry you or whom you will not marry. Read more about how to get married, read the article “How to Keep a Strong Relationship With Man”.
The fifth reason. The girl due to poor knowledge of the psychology of men does not even understand what a normal man is.
It seems like an obvious thought I repeat, but I repeat. A normal, decent man is not the same as a normal and decent woman. And this is not something similar, but slightly different. These are radically different types of character, perception of reality, etc.
And if a woman makes demands on men (deserving) are about the same as for a normal woman (with a small correction), then it may turn out that there are no decent men at all.
Example 1 . Decent men work or study a lot. (sometimes both)
In this regard, they usually strongly concentrate on their tasks, sometimes they get tired a lot and usually do not like to be interrupted while working or studying for abstract conversations.
And now the girl got used to communicate with “unworthy” men who are ready to talk about her all day with phone.
Now she seems to have met a man who earns good money or is promising. And he does not call her five times a day. He gets annoyed when the girl herself calls him constantly during work hours, ends the conversation, etc.
Ham, the woman concludes. Only seemed like a decent man .
Not really. Just decent men by definition work more and are more concentrated on work, study. Work for them is often not a useless pastime, where they look at their watches every 15 minutes waiting for the end of the working day. Working and studying for them is often a very important thing that they value.
Example 2. Decent men are less interested in things that are interesting to many.
Such cool things as stories about friends, discussing news on television, etc., can take from decent men many times less time to talk.
If a girl is interested in something like that, then he will simply listen to him half-heartedly or not listen at all.
Ham . Not at all, usually just a different perception.
So, decent men full. Really a lot. If a woman has not high expectations, then these are 80% in her social circle. If a girl wants a better-off man, etc., then all the same – this is approximately every fifth man.
And if at least a little work on oneself, on understanding male psychology, on the ability to communicate, on self-confidence, etc., then it is easy or even very easy to get acquainted with a decent man. Use it. Maybe 5% of women systematically study and do something to please men more. (except diets) If you work on yourself for at least 6-12 months, you will forget that there are such difficulties as the search for decent men. They will be looking for you. What I have repeatedly seen in the examples of my clients who are training with me.