The bouquets wilted, the balls were blown away, congratulations on the phone ended, my husband went to work. You were left alone with the child. Each day looks like the previous one: I did not get enough sleep, got up, fed, changed the diaper, went to bed, went for a walk, came back, depression, fed, changed the diaper, put me to bed and so on in the day-by-day …
It’s good if you found a girlfriend for walks. Because then during the walk you can discuss with your friend how you did not get enough sleep, got up, fed, changed the diaper, laid to sleep …. Continue to continue? Yearning!
And how did you imagine all this beautifully! A sunny day, a brand new wheelchair, you, so beautiful and slim, in a good mood, stroll with the baby. So I wanted to give birth soon! And now you have given birth, go on a nice day with a carriage that was chosen on the Internet for half a year, but there is no joy. On how to improve the mood, read in the article “How to Get Rid of Guilt”
Let’s see: what overshadows your motherhood? Why did you have depression after childbirth and what to do to get rid of depression after childbirth?
Appearance. Yes Yes Yes. Heard about the fact that the figure is not the most important thing, do not drink water from the face and after the birth all recover, then your grandmother was also very slim, and then she grew fat. Is this all consoling? When I was discharged from the hospital after the first birth, I was asked to bring me my prenatal jeans. Naive! Savvy relatives seized – so, just in case – bored me “pregnant” pants, which I safely and climbed.
There are, of course, lucky ones who after birth look slimmer than before and out of the hospital are prescribed beauties, but they are much smaller. Basically, all the girls gain weight – at best about 5 kilograms.
So, you have given birth and have recovered . You are very upset, do insecure, you do not feel attractive, it seems to you that everyone is just thinking how fat you are.
What to do? First of all, admit that you have recovered. Recognition of the problem is the first step towards solving it. Step two – to calculate how many extra pounds you have and estimate how much you can reset them.
Step three – breastfeeding (if you have enough milk). Do not eat for slaughter on the grounds that you are a nursing mother. And do not be afraid that if you observe moderation in food, then you will lose milk. Milk will be excellently produced at the expense of your fat stores. To overdo the stick and sit on a strict diet, of course, also not necessary, but arrange the last meal no later than 19.00, for example, it is quite possible without any harm to the baby.
Step four – walk. Live with the motto: “I will not give the wheelchair!” If your grandmothers, grandfathers and other relatives want to help – let them take care of economic issues. In no case do not share with them a stroller: she is your assistant in the struggle for harmony. No matter how tired you are, walk. You need it no less than the baby. Just do not sit down in a garden with a booklet and do not participate in a sit-down on the court. You still have time to chat with the mothers when your child is interested in a sandbox, swings and a hill. Walk, walk and walk again. If there is no strength at all, go at a slow pace; if you are feeling well today, arrange active walking. The main thing – move, even if you do not want. Your task – to disperse the anguish of movement. Choose different routes, so that there is no sense of routine and monotony. On how you can lose weight after childbirth, read in the article “How to Lose Weight Without Dieting”
Self care . You have always been well-groomed. Manicure, a pedicure without fail. Styling every day. Now you at best have time to brush your hair and brush your teeth.
What should I do ? To think, so whether you do not have enough time? After all, if you did makeup constantly, then, most likely, you can do it quickly. 5-10 minutes can always be found, so maybe the lack of time is just an excuse? With stacking is more difficult. Maybe you will grow long hair to make simple and stylish hairstyles? Or to consult with the hairdresser, what haircuts require the minimum stacking? A solution can always be found. Pedicure and manicure can be done every 2 months in the salon, and at other times maintain a salon effect at home.
Physical fatigue is also the cause of depression after childbirth.
If your baby is restless, often wakes up, cries, does not sleep at night, your newly depressed body experiences a high load. Constant fatigue, lack of energy – all this does not contribute to the mood and care of the postpartum depression.
What should I do? Yes, many opponents of this method will forgive me – to put the child with them on the bed. Often this is enough to make the baby calm down. After all, he lived with you in the same rhythm for 9 months, and he may not be at first comfortable with one. It is better for you to sleep with the baby together than be on the right to sit and rock it all night, experiencing a wild desire to sleep and irritation at such a bleak life. In addition, after a good night’s sleep, you can spend your morning at work in the morning, instead of sleepily muttering to him: “I have not slept all night!” But your spouse, like the baby, needs your attention right now.
The first two nights after the hospital, I also methodically sat and rocked my daughter. But she did not fall asleep. At first I kindly asked her to calm down, worried that she might feel bad. As fatigue accumulated, I began to feel annoyed at the child, disappointed in the situation, visited the thoughts: “And why do I need all this?” Anger at her husband: “It’s good for him! She sleeps all night, and then goes on an interesting job, communicating with people … “. As soon as I began to put my daughter with me, we both began to get some sleep. Up to six months she slept with us all the time, by the year almost ceased. I think, we should not worry that the child will spend the night with you until his coming of age.
Feelings of guilt, this is one of the causes of depression after childbirth.
As I have already said, the feeling of guilt with motherhood and the thought that the birth of a child is a mistake is sometimes visited, especially in moments of extreme fatigue. This creates a sense of guilt. After all, irritation on the child is a sign of a bad mother, and you are exhausted to be a good mom to your baby.
What should I do? Calm down. There is nothing criminal in your annoyance about the child. Another question is how to give vent to this irritation. If you start shaking the baby, nervously ask him: “But when will you finally calm down?” – this will not help create a favorable psychological climate for your child. Better tell your child all your feelings: “You know, I’m very tired of this cry. Yes, and you, I think, too. Let’s try it with you…. (lie on your tummy, look in the window, listen to music ….) and calm down … “So you recognize the fact that you are irritated, give him a way out. A baby according to your intonations will understand that you have not been charged by his anxiety, worry, but on the contrary give him another energy, and most likely he will soon calm down.
If one of the relatives can help you at the moment of the vagaries of the baby, do not hesitate, take help. And do not criticize yourself again for being a bad mother. Remember Esenin’s words: “The big one is seen from a distance …” To feel the joy of motherhood, you need to sometimes get out of it.
Lack of self-interest. What can be more obvious cause of depression after childbirth, how not lack of self- interest!
Perhaps, it seemed to you that after the birth you will become an individual and you will be able to satisfy your needs more than during pregnancy. You were wrong. A small egoist takes all your time, energy, thoughts. There are only his needs. And when you thought about your interests, you have already forgotten.
What should I do? The child will never give you space for himself: look for it yourself. Use the baby’s sleep – good, babies sleep much – to meet their own needs. Do you like to read? Read it! Do you like yoga? Forward! Want to see a movie?
Right now! Do not think about the fact that you need to wash the floors, iron things or arrange a spring cleaning. Allow yourself not to be a wife and mother.
Loss of professional competence. A serious problem that faces all moms on parental leave. And if you are going to someday return to work, you should not relax and necessarily allocate yourself time to maintain a professional form.
What should I do? If the profession allows, find a part-time job. Lawyers, teachers, psychologists, accountants, journalists, designers, artists, doctors, programmers – this is an incomplete list of professions that allow you not to drop out of your field. Money plays a lesser role here. And it’s important to stay “in the subject”. Use the client base, let’s consult friends or on the Internet. Read the special literature. Be aware of the news in your professional field. It’s easy to arrange, maintaining contacts with colleagues and visiting professional sites, forums. Do not be lazy! Give time to your professional growth, even if it seems to you that in your life nothing but diapers and diapers will not happen again.
Almost all young mothers face this. Routine life, the existence of a clear regime, predictability, low life events – all this contributes to the feeling of one’s own uninterested, banality, worthlessness. Bright, active women, this is especially hard for self-esteem.
What should I do? Use the advantages of the children’s regime of the day: you know exactly when you have yoga classes, when time for professional growth and any other activities that you set for yourself. Remember that you do not sit with your child at home, but do daily work to care for and develop your baby, that is, in fact, work as a teacher of early development. And in parallel you are doing your own personal growth, you have time to pamper your husband with a delicious dinner, make great progress in yoga, look at the novelties of cinema and do little else what you do!
So, you see that postpartum depression consists of different components. Listen to yourself, try to determine what exactly is oppressing you, and start working in this direction. I am sure that you will be able to cope with postpartum depression and feel the unhidden joy of motherhood.