Interesting things happen in life. For example, we want to change my life, something to change and improve in their own or in their relations in the family. We clearly know that it does not suit us, constantly talking about it, and sometimes even do some movement and action to improve the situation. And in time to come back to the same relations and the same life as before. However, as stated above, we always clearly know what needs to be done to eliminate negative events from their lives. In such a case, how to change your life so that more did not come back to it that we are not satisfied?
Here it is important to understand that in order to change your life, it is useless to change the result, it is necessary to look for and eliminate the cause of what is happening. But many do not even think about the fact, and that is it – the cause of what is happening?
For example, come to the doctor and try to tablets eliminate the pain in the stomach, cure liver, improve the functioning of the heart, get rid of depression. Without thinking about what would be good for the stomach to go on another diet, but for a healthy heart – to reduce the weight and every day to walk several kilometers to run, swim and live a more active and healthy lifestyle. And in order to “cure” for depression or stress relief, it is useless to drink tranquilizers, you need to learn to think positive categories every day to sit down and thank the universe for what it is. That is, if only for the fact that we live and move, and that there are close relatives that have a place to live and to live on. While write down in his diary Success all grateful for that life, and forget about stress, let alone depression … and what actually is it?
Probably know that one begins to appreciate his life and everything that happens to him is often just after His life begins to teach. For example, may take the opportunity to go on for some time, until the person is not aware of the value of all that he has. So whether or not to bring themselves to such a state, when it is better to start figuring out what is the cause and what it is?
Well, a little bit to understand what the root cause of what is happening. So the first thing: always, in all you are not satisfied with the events and problems, look for the cause of what is happening within ourselves, in the depths of their beliefs, erroneously, that spin in your subconscious mind, in their wrong-doing, and the children’s fears and complexes.
It is useless to try to increase revenue, if you clearly sits a negative attitude toward money and the envy of the rich people, and sometimes just to the success of any of the people around you. Perhaps even you yourself in this never admit it, but think about if you come girlfriend and tell you that she was offered an interesting, creative, high-paying jobs, plus a car with a personal driver and move to another city, or another country – you will feel at the same time?
Or your partner, yes, your beloved man suddenly starts to rise sharply and move up the career ladder. Or open their successful business, will be engaged in activities, will raise your level of professionalism, begin enthusiastically to realize his dream, he made new friends – colleagues, and thus become happy and energetic – answer honestly – you will truly, truly him We are looking forward to?
Since the answer do not hurry. Many years ago, I dreamed about the success of her husband, but she did not even realize that the inner fears that if he starts to realize themselves and their talents, I will become uninteresting to him, I literally blocked its development. A few years we could not move, but said at the same time a lot of beautiful words that “just a dream, I sleep and I see it in how he always wanted to be.” By the way, I can not say anything for my man did not.
Made, he moved, changed his beliefs, months worked through the lessons in childhood program. But changes began to occur only in a few years, and only after I sat down and honestly imagine that, “Why, I’m afraid of his success, no matter in what area of life!”. I was afraid to become it unnecessary, uninteresting, afraid that he would leave me for another immediately, as soon starts to thrive and so on. At the same time committed not be aware that these are the thoughts and fears not only block its development, but, first of all, I block the development of your own! And instead of having to raise self-esteem, to be always interesting for themselves, to develop, to improve their skills, realize their creative projects, instead of all that I lived for many years in fear.
Or do you want to live happily with her husband, but did not do anything to change themselves and their attitude to the partner. Now we’re not talking about what you do every day, wash, iron, cook, and inside were unhappy with what is happening, is unhappy, his life, her husband and all the others combined. In any case, in order to completely change their lives, you have to first change yourself.
It is important to understand, but what is the cause of your misery? In what lies the root cause of the fact that all your family is not as you would like as a young man? Perhaps, as a child in front of you it was a positive example of happy people? Well, who’s stopping you now to start to learn how to be happy?
Or about the relationship between one could hardly tell your parents that “they were imbued with mutual respect, passion and tenderness.” Well, now you understand that as a child you have not learned to respect and love men, so why not start now to master this science?
Our happiness, love and trust my husband and I started with the appearance of the image of a happy couple. At one point, I was so tired of mutual grievances, demands and unfulfilled expectations that decided once and for all to understand what is happening in the root cause. Do not remove the symptoms, not try to change the other person for themselves, but to understand it cause problems in family life.
Option divorce I quickly cut off from his mind, telling myself that we always have time to disperse, but if I do not learn to communicate and understand her husband, then where is the guarantee that another man I would succeed? After all, he, too, will have their own “peculiarities and shortcomings”, and once I have now is not satisfied even such a wonderful person, like my husband, then obviously that’s not the men, and in myself. (Let’s define, we are talking about a normal, average men, without deviation in the direction of violence and similar clinics.)
Then began the long search for the root causes of what is happening. It was then that I realized that it was useless to clean up and remove the symptoms, you must understand how “grow legs” in the events taking place in my life. Began to ask myself questions about why in my heart to your spouse feel the tenderness and respect, but there are times when something like rolls at me, and I begin to demand, to accuse, criticize? And my feelings are far from acceptance and respect.
Hours, for days, analyzing his life, his deeds and actions, I started everything clearer and clearer to understand how she lived and acted before, and why behaved that way. To look at ourselves – the best of pleasant sight.
After earning a number of similar strategies of behavior, I relaxed and looked at myself as if from the side, as if from above. To look at ourselves and consciously see and understand all your fears, habits, grudges, attempts to manipulate through insults and accusations.
But most importantly, I could then understand that in our family, my husband and relationships are built a hair’s breadth, as lined up in a family of my own, and partly by his parents. But I had already decided that they no longer want to blame her husband and ask him to change it and fix something in themselves. Then I made the decision myself. I wanted this for the first time in many years, at some point, I felt how much I want to fix it, not only in himself but also in his relationship with a partner, with others, with respect to their talents and lifestyles. I realized that I wanted to change myself, nothing demanding or expecting in return. We realized that first of all it is necessary to me the most, my soul, my inner sense of self-esteem.