I think that will not be mistaken if I say that every man dreams of happiness. And every girl and woman asks herself: ” How to be happy, but not just happy, but happy with her man, with his only and beloved man” . And if a man with whom you want to build your life happiness has already been found, somehow over time in family life begin to accumulate claims, insults and innuendo. Often, women begin to have doubts, how happy she is and what to do to be happy, keep the family together, keep the love in the family and the relationships that in the early years brought so much joy and happiness? How to solve the family problems and misunderstandings?
I will say one thing before you look for the answer to the question “How to keep love in the family and how to stay happy with it,” it is first necessary to understand what all the changes primarily occur in the man himself, and only then they are like a reflection in a mirror, occur in the outer life. But where to start? How to start my own, and to rehabilitate the relationships that you have yet to roads? Start with forgiveness and a study of parental programs. In this article we will talk about the power of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is Power
Without forgiveness can be no change. And in myself and in others, a change in consciousness and perception of the world and their own behavior started only after sincere forgiveness and acceptance. Improvements and changes in the relationship with her husband began to take place only after the study of children’s programs and beliefs. But to begin to realize the fallacy of these programs, you must first forgive – forgive and let go of everything that is accumulated for years. Without forgiveness it is impossible to be happy. Without regular forgiveness will be difficult to keep the love and, moreover, to keep the family happy and friendly.
Each of us needs to forgive his father, or his first man or to forgive and let go of bad memories of a failed marriage, to forgive her husband for the inevitable mistakes that he made, and still continues to do, just like any other normal person. Wrong just as wrong and ourselves. That’s just in itself, we are not always willing to see it and take, and the other person always see and never forget him say this, sometimes even several dozen times per day. But in order to keep the love and keep the family together, you first need to forgive and let go of negative memories yourself and stop clinging to the past, long ago decayed, resentment. And if you are wondering about how to become a happier, much more, in the first place, you need several months to do practice forgiveness. Initially, parents forgive, then forgive yourself, forgive your partner, well then, and all the rest, beginning with childhood and ending with real life.
Only after I have many days with tears and internal protest forgiven and to forgive offenses to life and resentment at her husband, but after that I could more sensibly and calmly look at our relationship with him and on his own behavior in our family . It was only after forgiveness, I found the answers to the question of how to be happy and how to save the family, which I have always been expensive. I was able to calmly and as if by to see herself in the true light, which had never myself saw and see the, at times is not always beautiful, behavior. Only after I was able to for several days proproschat her husband, and then the children’s resentment toward his father, I began to open a completely different vision of the world and ourselves in it, opening the door to a new, happy and have a conscious life. And you will not believe it, but after forgiveness, I realized that being happy is much easier than you think!
How is it nice to feel happiness and contentment with himself and his life. And how nice it is to live the way you want! How is it nice – consciously create and build their lives and their relationships with a partner. Not when you were stormy and occasionally throws the sharp shore life, and when you realize that everything that happens in your life, has its roots in children’s programs, and the recorded image at a young age how “should” behave in a woman. These programs were formed unconsciously, by copying and imitation mother or grandmother, but whether they were happy with their family – everything is a big question! And this question is rather rhetorical, having a definite answer – no, not always. Not always our mother is the way, which should be and who should emulate. But as a child we do not yet understand, and automatically record her behavior and her life script.
And as an adult, we can not understand, but what is happening to us, because the way it started out well and then, a few years, and our family, and the man for whom we are married, have ceased to delight us. And yet, no matter what we do, everything takes place as if nothing, and getting worse and worse every year. And we do not understand how to save a relationship, how to keep the love in a relationship and how to make family life happy and joyful? And more and more accumulated grievances and misunderstandings. More and more annoying us there and then, and then, and yet here it is. And annoying because he so strongly starts to remind us of our father. And also because he does not understand our needs and desires, can not create and make our lives the way we’ve always dreamed of him at the beginning of love. Yet it turns out that we do not want. And the more we concentrate on this “do not want” and the bad things that we see in our partner, the more and more grow the negative aspects of our lives.
Over time, we begin to understand that “everything has to do for ourselves, and everything at us, and he did not seem to see it if he did not understand and does not want to grow up and take responsibility.” – And all this is accumulated, accumulated all this for years and decades and husband relationship with his wife every year more and more like the relationship between the two warring states. Someone is always at war; someone introduces penalties and restrictions; someone takes a position of neutrality and indifference; and someone is always complaining and trying to find the support of the more powerful and developed countries.
All of this continues to accumulate, and over time begins to resemble a snowball that rolls and collects the snow already under its own weight. And that someone becomes a great and terrible, and nothing can stop it. He sweeps away everything and crushes in its path. And in no sense a partner, no sense of our children can not keep us in the infinite and the eternal struggle and search for “who is right – who is to blame.” – No one, no one, except the only person in the world. No one can stop this snowball consisting of resentment, anger, aggression, pain and frustration – no one but ourselves. Only we can stop and dissolve in itself all that with desire and love holili and nurtured all these years. Only we can forgive and let go, but we are able to dissolve in itself all the resentment and bitterness of disappointment, and begin to live a new, lighter and more conscious life. Only we can understand and take responsibility for everything that happens to us in our lives. Once we can understand that when things happen, it means that for some reason they needed us, but how we use them, and what happens as a result – it depends only on us.
If you have a normal, adequate and not use violence in the family of her husband, then everything else – a matter of time and internal growth and development. First and foremost, our growth, female. For a woman is by nature being the wiser, more tolerant and able to think strategically and look forward. And if the woman will have the wisdom, strength and patience, if she can forgive, forgive and forget the mistakes and shortcomings of your partner, then such a family is doomed to happiness, well-being and prosperity. If a woman is able to understand that a man just out of luck, because he had the fate to be born a man, and therefore not as flexible and wise as she is 🙂 – a woman will be able to be happy, and she would be able to give happiness and his family – her husband and children .
After working and change programs and beliefs as if I was born again and born a happy woman! I learned how to be happy! And that happiness does not come just like that, like a bolt from the blue, it does not fall on you “suddenly and unexpectedly.” This happiness is not something accidental, and winning the lottery. This happiness is not something you “just lucky to have a husband.” Any luck must earn and invest in it a certain amount of effort, time, reflection, patience, rejection of erroneous beliefs and much more and a lot of things. But then comes the so-called “happiness, good luck and a miracle.” And they really are present in our life and are present in the lives of many successful people. Here are just a few of us thinks, but what preceded it “luck” and “miracle”?
What is the basis of marital happiness and harmony, which is now so rare? But when it occurs, we surprised look at these families and themselves can not believe in the reality of what is happening. And yet, there is such a family, and the husband and wife in a family genuinely and tenderly loved and respected each other. So what is the basis of this love, tenderness and harmony? What is the basis of strong and happy family? How to keep love in the family? How to keep the family united and happy?
The main thing that must be understood in the first and all subsequent turns to realize that if you just read, and as before hope for a miracle, but it does not want to work every day, change and transform yourself, your reading will remain an amateur reading. Although, perhaps, it was born in you a certain share of the pursuit of happiness, and faith in what you do it, this happiness, worthy, and that your happiness depends on you the most, and no one more.
In any case, if you want to be happy and want to live your life with a beautiful, strong and confident, caring and gentle, loving and successful man – is to understand that you have to first change itself and change their beliefs and attitudes towards life and male generally. After that, in your life and will be the long-awaited miracles and fulfilled the dreams and desires.
It should be understood until we let go of old, we do not get a new one. Until we unclench his fist tightly strapped and do not release it, that such efforts are hampered in it, we will never be able to scoop up and take something else, much more useful and fresh.
Exercise: write a separate book or file is all that is happening at the moment in your relationship with your spouse. If you are not married, then remember your past relationships and write a scenario in which they evolved and how ended.
Write, write as much as possible and more. Write down everything that you take offense at. If you are constantly on something his reproach and accuse, to remember the events of the past years – all write. Open and vyplesnite from itself the accumulated years of resentment and bitterness. Now close the notebook and store it somewhere away for a few days or weeks. Everything will depend on when you will want to read it over and make a new recording. Once you write all the insults and disappointments, sit down, close your eyes and start to remember what is happening, which caused outrage in you with renewed vigor. Remember, and remember all the nasty bugs you the scene and your man and do not forget, when you all live again, saying to himself: “With love and gratitude, I forgive you, my husband, and I accept you for who you are.”
If you really badly hurt and angry, it is likely the first, and the second time it is unlikely that you have something happen. In your heart boils aggression and anger: “Yes, I like it, I’m all so good and correct, to forgive this scoundrel, bad person, and so on…” – do not worry, you’re a man and you are inherent in normal, human reaction. One is that you buy these books that you seek something to correct and improve in your life, now only it speaks for itself. And once you have such a desire, once you have the desire to change something, and convert, so be sure you will succeed.
A grudge against her husband, with whom I did not want to leave for a long time, I work out of the last ten times, and really true forgiveness took about two years! And that one hurt !! And how many such “offenses” is accumulated in us over the years of living together? Now here I really can not even remember what, in fact, so much it offended? The event, of course, I remember, but now I can not understand why it was so much to worry about such an insignificant ?! But before I thought to be offended and to collect, store and recall periodically and splashes of yourself offense, to manipulate them – all this as “beautiful and romantic”. I felt like a victim of a hateful-heroine who “suffers and devotes all of himself without reserve to the creation of this ungrateful.” It seemed to me that the more I blame the person, the more he will blame themselves and try every possible way to make amends. In this case, I really did not see and did not understand how all this boring, ridiculous and childish. How all this is far from true happiness and true harmony in the family.
Therefore, if you now do not get at least 20 minutes forgiveness of her husband, go to them for 5 minutes, or 2 minutes. Or just one time say, introducing her husband standing in front of you, “I forgive you with love and gratitude, and I accept you for who you are. I love you, I love you and I forgive you. “
Keep practicing forgiveness every day, it is best at night, when you are relaxed and can focus your thoughts. Do not miss a single day, and a week later you will begin to wonder what is happening in your life changes and events, which you could previously only dream of. Farewell and adieu once more. And after a little clean up and be able to forgive the partner, begin to ask him for forgiveness. Yes, just imagine it in front of him and ask him for forgiveness: “I beg your pardon. I beg you, forgive me of my negative thoughts, emotions and behavior, which I allowed with respect to you. “
Nobody has come up with a more powerful means for a happy and peaceful life, than forgiveness and acceptance just the way it is. That forgiveness is forgiveness makes you full of joy and lust for life. It gives bright colors not only your perception, but the entire world around you.
No need to save for years and drag with the severity of memories, ancient grudges, misunderstandings and some disappointment. Everything passes, and it is long gone. But now life goes on, and on how you perceive it – depends on your true happiness. Your happiness and the happiness of your family and the people around you.
Think about it, or you will play the role of eternally resentful, frustrated, disappointed and unhappy person, and thus to harass and annoy the people around you. Or are you going to blossom and rejoice, radiate and shine bright sunlight, the ability to live and accept that life in all its diversity and to give yourself and others joy, carefree and light? Think about whom you would like to become? Eternally dissatisfied and concerned about a bunch of problems matron, or wise, bright and serene, loving and beloved woman?
Think about what you really want to become? And if your choice is stopped on the happiness and joy, then work, work on forgiveness and acceptance. It is not necessary to accumulate all the grievances and memories. It is not necessary to concentrate the mind on the fact that someone has something you do not say so or not done. All this has been done can not be undone and all. But what is happening in your life right now, completely depends on you and on your ability to live happily and peacefully.
Only it depends on you whether you will be able to forgive and erase the memories of the load, which presses and allows you to breathe easily and freely freely. And already discarded once and for all these thoughts of negativity and fear, and instead enjoy the joy and serenity. After all, you can endlessly sit and sort out in my head resentment of bygone days, but did you become happier from it? Did you get this from the confident and harmonious? Did you get on this joyful and successful? After all, what you focus on your thoughts, and gets a large and powerful force in our lives. And if you focus only on the negative thoughts, something negative and you will attract and be seen in their lives. If you are, at last, be able to forgive and let go, that’s when you really will gain true freedom. Freedom, do not depend on external events or from external circumstances. Freedom, which does not depend on other people. You will gain the freedom that free will itself make a choice, and this choice will bring you true satisfaction and peace of mind. That’s when you and feel what is happiness, what is real, true happiness without cargo care, without load memories and reserved a resentment and frustration. You are like a fresh, look at their world and see what it used to just do not notice. You start to go slower and more to hear and enjoy the singing of birds and the sun’s rays. You understand that you are happy, and that your happiness depends on you most – and no one more.
Forgiveness, pardon and forgiveness again. The power of forgiveness irreplaceable, and without forgiveness, you can not ever be truly happy and joyful.
Be able to forgive and let go – it is a great skill, and it alone will allow you to truly enjoy life in every moment of its existence.
Remember!!! Before you go to sleep, take five to ten minutes and talk with husband. Presenting him and all those insults you hoarded for years, saying: “With love and gratitude, I forgive you and accept you for who you are.”
After a couple of months forgiveness begin to forgive ourselves and ask forgiveness from her husband: “With love and gratitude I forgive myself and accept myself for who I am. With love and gratitude, I apologize to forgive your spouse for all of your negative thoughts, behavior and actions towards him. With love and gratitude he forgives me and accept that what I have. “
All exercise of forgiveness is very well laid out in the book “Sensible World. How to live without the hassle. ” If I was asked which of the books can really change a person’s life, the “Sensible World” I would put in the first place.